This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
