YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
