Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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