i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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