I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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