Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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