girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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