It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
