the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
