oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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