i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
