Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
