My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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