Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You smell like stripper and shame
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
