I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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