Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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