it wasn't lemon gatorade
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
