he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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