I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
