Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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