You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
