pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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