why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
