VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i need some magic done to my vagina
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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