You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
