We're like a lot better than the average bears
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
