what day is it and did you see me today?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
