sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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