I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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