Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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