I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
