i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
