...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
