when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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