there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
