I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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