nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
