forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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