You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
