Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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