Cold hands, warm shart.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
