Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
