dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
