What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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