Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
