love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
