Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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