I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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