I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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