if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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