He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
