Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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