i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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