god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
