theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
