I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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